Saturday, June 20, 2009

Bill was a dick.

In Tarantino's masterpiece Kill Bill volumes 1 and 2, the late masturbation victim David Carradine portrayed the titular Bill. He was the leader of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, and was presumably responsible for the death of dozens of people. However, those people are not the focus of the Dickhead Chronicles.

The focus of the Dickhead Chronicles is his treatment of one Beatrix Kiddo, also known as The Bride. He fucked all of his assassins, and happened to get Beatrix pregnant. Beatrix chose not to allow her daughter to be born into a life based around "jetting around the world, killing human beings, and being payed vast sums of money for it." She chose to move to El Paso, Texas and find a chump to marry. Bill found out about this, carefully contemplated, and came up with a reasonable, appropriate response:murdering her husband to be, along with his family and friends, and putting a bullet in her head.

Pictured: reasonable, appropriate response.

He ended up getting his comeuppance, but as he said, he is a "murdering bastard, and there are consequences to breaking the heart of a murdering bastard." And there are also consequences to breaking the heart of a dickhead.

Taking into account the severe breaking of boss/employee etiquette, I give Bill a 6/10 on the International Dickhead Scale.